The Weight of Yesterday: When You Can't Forgive Yourself

Many of us struggle to forgive ourselves, and it's often because of the overwhelming power of regret. Regret is like a prison we build for ourselves, a place we desperately try to escape but often find ourselves trapped within. We might seek solace in faith, hearing weekly about a Risen Savior, Jesus, who promises to carry our mistakes, sins, transgressions, and yes, even our regrets. Yet, despite knowing this, we can still find ourselves living under the constant weight of past choices. Regret creates a powerful emptiness, a void that can easily become the breeding ground for depression. But why do we choose to remain in this painful place?

The answer lies in a harsh truth: we often stay trapped in regret because, deep down, we haven't truly changed. We might tell ourselves that we'd do things differently if we could go back, but that's often a lie we tell ourselves. Our hearts know the truth. We know that, despite our wishful thinking, we might very well have made the same choices again because, fundamentally, we were the same person then. Most people caught in the grip of regret haven't broken free from the patterns, habits, behaviors, and mindsets that led them to those regrettable actions in the first place. Only true transformation, a life surrendered to Christ, can truly wash away the stain of regret (Romans 12:1-3).

When we continue to live the same way, perhaps with a few minor adjustments but without genuine transformation, we remain stuck in that ugly place of regret. The first step towards transformation in Christ is repentance. Repentance means taking responsibility for our actions, especially our sins, and making a sincere commitment in our hearts to turn away from them. The beauty of following Christ is that after repentance comes forgiveness. We are forgiven by God because Christ took on all our mess (Ephesians 1:7-8). And if, by His grace, we are forgiven, then we can also forgive ourselves. Why hold onto the burden any longer? Yes, you did it. Yes, you can't change the past. But the past is gone, just as your transgressions are wiped clean by the Lord's divine love for you.

Start today by asking yourself: what haven't I forgiven myself for? What do I regret? Then, add to your prayers this week: "Lord, remove my regrets. Help me to heal from my transgressions. Give me the strength to forgive myself, as you have forgiven me”